I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I know her cup size but not her name....
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
