Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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