no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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