Don't you send me to vm
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
