:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
