I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
