She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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