She said her name was "party"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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