he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
