Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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