I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
