it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
