That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
