escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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