She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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