i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just found a bag of teeth...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
