i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
