Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
