wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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