I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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