it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
