Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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