i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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