I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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