do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
