that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
