You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you win again, gameday.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
