We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
