do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
