I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
