I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
