The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
