glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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