i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
