I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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