no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
