Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
