none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
