You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
