i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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