This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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