a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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