Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Pants are for mortals
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
