I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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