If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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