I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
