I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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