It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
