do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
