When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
