Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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