I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
