guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
