We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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