yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
